Missing my Miranda today… and always.

She would be four months old today.

This is my go to “I-need-bread-for-dinner-but-there’s-no-time-for-a-slow-rise” bread. It doesn’t have the chewy crust or the delicious crumb (custard) of the Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes boule, but it has quickly become a family favorite.

Here is my version of this recipe:

2 cups of warm water

2 1/4 tsp (or one packet) of yeast

1-2 tbsp sugar

Combine above ingredients in the bowl of your stand mixer (it can be done by hand, but you’re in for more work than necessary for this quick bread) and allow the yeast 5-10 minutes to activate.

The add:

2 tsp salt

4-5 cups of flour, more of less depending on how the dough looks. I find I usually need about 5 cups to produce a smooth elastic ball that isn’t too sticky.

Knead with the dough hook for about 10 minutes (when all the dough pulls away from the side of the bowl).

Now you’re ready to shape the loaves.

Preheat your oven to 450 with one rack in the center position and one in the lowest, place a shallow pan on the bottom rack (I start preheating while I’m shaping the loaves, this gives it a little time to proof before I pop it in the oven).

Divide the dough into 4 even pieces. Dust your work top with flour and roll each piece into a long thin rope (about 15-18 inches), then twist two together to form each loaf. Place on a parchment lined cookie sheet.

Once the oven is heated pop the sheet in and add 1-2 cups of hot water to the shallow pan, this creates the steam that will give you a crispy crust.

Bake for about 15-18 minutes. DO NOT OPEN THE OVEN WHILE IT BAKES, you’ll let the steam out.

Let them cool on a rack for about 10 minutes before slicing.

Enjoy!

It’s raining…

Most of us are sniffling…

…waiting for the storm to pass and hoping to see a rainbow.

Titus 2 is full of wise instruction. It speaks of our roles as women, wives, and mothers (it also speaks to men but I’ll leave that for a man to discuss), it speaks of our responsibility as believers in an unbelieving world.

Last week I told you about the 2:1 conference coming up in VA that I’d like to win a ticket to. This week The Homeschool Classroom is offering one last opportunity to win.

I’ve had another week to think and pray about why I’d like to be there. I’m still praying that the Lord would make it clear whether this is His will or my desire.

So I went back to reread the scripture, to read what God is telling me through Titus 2 (the whole thing not just the first verse).

Titus 2(NASB) “But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine. 2 Older men are to be tempterate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.

3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved by much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God would not be dishonored.

6 Likewise urge the young men to be sensible; 7 in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, 8 sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us.

9 Urge bondslaves to be subject to their own masters in everything, to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, 10 not pilfering, but showing all good faith so that they will adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect.

11 For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, 12 instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave Himself for us, to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.

15 These things speak and exhort and reprove with all authority. Let no one disregard you.”

 

My desire to be there comes from the opportunity to be surrounded by like-minded women who have been walking a path similar to mine, veterans, you might call them. I want to glean wisdom from the “been-there-done-that” women of verse 3. I want to be encouraged along the road God has me… in the season I need it most. I realize that while I am a “younger woman” I am also an “older woman” to some and I am called to encourage and build in to the lives of the women God puts in my path.

What does it have to do with a blogging/homeschooling conference?

Verses 11-14 give me instruction for living under God’s grace. Living with the hope given by Christ alone. I want to be sure to use any opportunity He gives me to speak to others to faithfully point back to Him. Sometimes that may be through my words but I pray it is always through my life and actions.

I don’t write a “religious” blog, or a “homeschool” blog, or a”craft” blog, or a “foodie” blog, or “grief” blog.

However, my faith defines my life, our home is also a school, I seek to work with my hands often, I enjoy nourishing my family through meals made at home, and I am a mom who has buried an infant.

I want to be sure that before I embrace verse 15 that I am grounded in His word and will. Maybe He’ll use the 2:1 Conference to help me with that.

Oatmeal Molasses Bread with sunflower and pumpkin seeds

I used this recipe and just added the seeds because I like crunch. It is wonderful and will certainly be part of my weekly baking routine. Ifound I need to bake it for 30 minutes in my oven otherwise the center is a bit underdone.

Now if only I could stop eating it!

Dark hot chocolate with orange zest.

What I used:
whole milk
evaporated cane juice (organic sugar)
Hershey’s Special Dark cocoa powder
Ghirardelli Double Chocolate bittersweet chips
orange zest

It’s thick and rich, I added milk to the children’s cups to cool it down without sacrificing any chocolatey goodness.

Some people find my blog from keyword searches. I often wonder about these people. Did they find what they were hoping for?

Someone found my blog yesterday by searching for “ecmo cannula”. I can’t help but wonder if that person is sitting in a similar seat to where I was just four short months ago. I wonder if they are looking for answers the way I was. I wonder if they are just looking to talk to someone that might understand what they’re facing or someone who has walked that path before. I found the ACD parent group because someone reached out to me through my blog. I’m so thankful she did! Even though Miranda wasn’t officially diagnosed as having ACD this group of parents welcome us with open arms as parents who have this awful loss in common.

All that to say, if you happen upon my blog from a search for something, especially dealing with loss or uncertainty with one of your precious little ones, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’m always willing to “chat”.

((hugs))

For as long as I can remember I’ve always loved journaling. I may not have ever filled a journal completely but there are probably dozens of books with my scribbling in existence. I was even the editor of my high school yearbook so that I could have an opportunity to make my yearbook the record that I really wanted it to be. Once I had children I jumped into scrapbooking. Then I had more children and there was just no time to scrapbook. I still had so many things I wanted to remember though, so I dove into the world of blogging. My first posts were back in 2006! Living in different states than all of our extended family members made blogging an opportunity to share our daily lives with those we love that we’re far away from. I’m pretty sure only family members read my posts for the longest time. My blog is linked to most of the places I participate in online so I’ve gotten a few reads here and there throughout the years, from crafting sites, homeschooling sites, Hyena Cart, online mom communities and so on.

When Miranda was born my blog was silent, I didn’t know how to share about her just yet, wasn’t sure I wanted to go “public” with her so I went back to a paper journal and started recording her life story.

When she died I knew I wanted to blog. I had so much to write and my pen just wasn’t moving fast enough.

All of a sudden people were reading and responding to what I was saying in numbers I never expected.

So here I am navigating this blogging thing with a mind for what lies ahead. Do I really have something to add to the world of blogging? Is my story different enough to receive interest but also just as much relatable? Can I be consistent in posting? Do I have to be focused on one thing? Will I have to chose to be a craft blog? A homeschooling blog? A baby-loss blog? Can I be a little of all of that? Or, should I continue on just journaling our life?

Why am I even asking these questions?

When I started blogging Miranda’s story I had an audience and people started subscribing. I read a (few) post(s) by Amy at Raising Arrows about the 2:1 Conference for blogging homeschool moms, she challenged her readers to consider whether God was calling them to take their blogs further and to consider if attending the convention was in His plans. I’ve been thinking about it often and am praying for Him to open the door if that is what He wills. Amy offered an opportunity to win a ticket to the conference by blogging about why you wanted to go. I missed the deadline. Today I saw that Kris at Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers was also opening up that opportunity! I couldn’t miss a deadline again.

I’m continuing to pray that I use this blog for purposes that bring glory to my Savior. I may not speak His name in every post, but I hope my life proves that Jesus is the center without me needing to use words.

I made a quick trip over to Goodwill to browse the housewares. I came across a few pretty plates and vases to make pedestal servers. The only thing you need besides the pieces is a tube of E6000 glue to put them all together.

All my supplies, E6000 from a local chain craft store (around $3.50) and a china plates and a dinner dish from Goodwill (ranging from $0.97 – $1.97) and a sundae dish and two vases (all less than $2.00). I removed the price stickers being careful to get all the adhesive off.

Add glue to the base of a sundae dish,

and then center on the bottom of a china plate.

Glue around the rim of a vase,

and then center on the bottom of the coordinating plate.

Just let them sit while the E6000 cures.

All done and curing!

Go see what you can find to create your own!